I H8.1 You!

(Not you, him, her or whatever)

This is a post about something that has been frustrating me and causing me immense grief over the last couple of months. I have wanted to write about it but it isn’t really related to nature, at least it wasn’t but now I have dug up a relative.

Black Bryony This is the male flower of the Black Bryony. There is a female flower but I haven’t found it yet, that has also been a small frustration in my life but that is nature and it is something that I love. I don’t love my computer.

Black Bryony In fact I am planning to murder my computer.

Black BryonyIf anyone has done murder and gotten away with it then please leave a comment, it would help me immensely and I wouldn’t tell anyone but anyway I think that I have come up with the perfect crime.

Black BryonyThat is a picture of Black Bryony berries and it took three attempts to upload it because my PC is constantly disconnected from the Wi-Fi, Oh! and also those are deadly poisonous berries.

My computer has a little, slidey, in and out thing for DVD’s and it will eat whatever I give it πŸ™‚

This is Spindle…

Spindle Um…. The berries are poisonous.


Honeysuckle(Disconnected again)

Lovely flower. Guess what the berries are?

HoneysuckleThe Arum Lily…

Arum Lily(Disconnected)

No come on, try and guess my interest. (Absolutely deadly)Arum LilyHolly, obviously.

HollyI am a good cook, my Poison Pie is to die for.

Ivy is good.



Now I have heard about Bill Gates, he is one year older than me and worth roughly 73 billion more than me and I have heard that he is a good man but I am Lord Tusk, beloved of the faeries and I will execute his machine if Windows 10 doesn’t work.

I don’t have any berries at the moment, it is too early in the year. I have subscribed to a Windows 10 download at the end of July, by then the berries will be out.

After I have done murder I will buy a tablet that doesn’t use Windows. That is the plan.

Woody Nightshade is good πŸ™‚

Woody Nightshade

Woody NightshadeEat your pie, Computator, it’ll put hairs on your chest πŸ™‚

26 thoughts on “I H8.1 You!”

  1. Where is Fizz? So many poisonous things. Again, good thing I don’t have to forage for anything…well, I wouldn’t be foraging long, since I would be dead after eating the wrong thing but still, it’s a good thing I don’t have to do that. I think a lot of people kill their computers or at least plot to kill them. It’s really not their fault, it’s the stuff we give them to eat.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Good luck! We live in a rural area with an internet speed of less than one. I have a love hate relationship with computers here, but in the waiting for things to load I do get to watch a lot of birds.


  3. So glad I’m not your computer and an ocean away. I get plenty of frustration from my husband regarding the internet and wifi. Constant crashing is cause for screaming. Have you checked with the company that provides the wifi? After several attempts, we finally got ours worked out. Don’t ask me how, I just use the computer. Good luck!


  4. I have to clean my computer constantly. My wife uses it for work and after a week or so will have thousands of cookies and junk on it. I sit for half an hour and run a couple programs and all is well. I tried a virus protection program once that monitors incoming traffic. That lasted about two days. It slowed to such a snail’s pace that I invented swear words. A good hobby but hardly productive. I do use Linux sometimes which is a nice alternative. Hang in their. We all appreciate your effort!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Sorry to hear of your dilemma, but if its any consolation, my Mac Pro has been doing a lot of disconnecting Downunder recently too.

    Methought it was the weather πŸ˜€ but its summer over your way, so you can’t blame the wind and/or rain.

    But seriously, the Apple Mac is a dream compared to my old Windows Desktop.


  6. We have had a lot of trouble with our internet speed lately too. Speeds of less than 0.5! And always crashing! We are changing to BT who promise us that things will be faster and better with them. Hummm. We’ll have to see. The only time we can download anything or read mail is after midnight. I am rather tired 😦 Lovely berry photos!


  7. This is the most vicious post I have ever read from you. I can tell you are in a bad mood – all those poisonous berries. You make plotting murder funny and entertaining. Remember that if you get stuck in court and have to defend yourself.


  8. Somehow I have not been getting emails from WP and I have been wondering and not a little concerned. Today I went back over a lot of old stuff and found you again. Now you have to find me because I changed my blog. It is now called “The new Cryptic Garland” and it is on https://suchlednew.wordpress.com/
    Pheew! Now life can get back to some semblance of order.
    How have you been?


  9. Colin, I miss you. I have not been able to share the changing seasons in the Forest of Dean with you. I have not been able to watch the muddy puppy, or see nighttime videos of creatures of the night. I worry that you need a new computer, Internet access, a warm home, support from your fans around the world, or just a cup of whiskey. I think of you every time I discover a curious fungus. I thought you’d take that as a compliment. Hugs from the US.


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